when last semester first started, i used to go to school with anticipation and a purpose, with a hint of excitement. nope, it ain't studies. and now i juz can't be enthusiastic abt anything, as much as i try to. i can't go around talking and laughing like i'm ok when i'm not. i have got no appetite no matter how hungry i am. i can't hide the look of envy when i see couples, no matter how hard i try. is this what my life gonna be from now? putting on a mask to fool the world that i'm strong? i'm not sure if i can do it at all. 2 sightings is enough to plunge me back into depression, and more than enough to make my heart long for the past.
yes, i've actually managed to convince myself that i would be alright, that things would be fine since i managed to live life like normal with no special someone before, and that this is juz a phase i'm going through. but, i juz dunno anymore...right now i'm supposed to do work but i've lost all that concentration; i can't stop thinking about the ghost of the past. sure, now i can do things which used to be frowned upon on, but i'm not happy at all.
does anything about me matter at all? it hurts like fuck when it seems that it doesn't. the price of making mistakes......
embraced the mystery
// 12:35 pm
