"give her a call, otherwise she'll get worried."
hah worried? is that so?
whatever. was unwilling to do so. but my gran glared at me till i make that call. then she nvr pick up her fone. "there, i've called her but it's she who never answered." phone rang and it's her. told her i've reached home blah blah blah monotonously, can't really be bothered to talk much.
a while later, she called again, asked me to check for her something. told me "in the living room" and wasn't clear with her words. in the end, it was in the DINING ROOM.
hah, now when i step into the house, my mood changes.
think i'm bad holding grudges against her? whatever. hah and i don't think it matters much to her at all. after all she puts part of the blame on
me. so be it; besides, what can i say?
contradictorily speaking, sometimes i feel bad/guilty for holding grudges against her, particularly when she's feeling down at this moment too.
ahhh i dunno what to think anymore.
maybe i'm a bloody fucking jinx.
i'm such a pathetic creature.
sometimes i really wish i have someone...a shoulder i can cry on...
my gran? nah, later she think i'm nuts.
sigh.
embraced the mystery
// 10:20 pm
